{"product_id":"unisex-t-shirt-1","title":"BACK OFF — I HAVE A CRAZY WIFE, AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE HER","description":"Some guys buy flowers. Some guys say “yes, dear.” And some guys wear a shirt that says exactly what everybody already knows:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n**BACK OFF — I HAVE A CRAZY WIFE, AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE HER.**\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis one’s made for the brave, the married, and the fellas who know when to keep their mouth shut. Soft enough for all-day wear, tough enough for the garage, and funny enough to get a laugh at the parts store, car show, backyard cookout, or wherever bad decisions are being discussed.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nJust remember: **wearing the shirt is funny. Letting your wife read it is your problem.**\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• **100% combed and ring-spun cotton** — soft, comfortable, and easy to wear\u003cbr\u003e\n• **Heather colors contain polyester**\u003cbr\u003e\n• **4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)** — lightweight without feeling cheap\u003cbr\u003e\n• **Pre-shrunk fabric** — because your shirt shouldn’t get smaller every time you screw up\u003cbr\u003e\n• **Side-seamed construction** — keeps the fit looking right\u003cbr\u003e\n• **Shoulder-to-shoulder taping** — built for everyday wear\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank garment sourced from **Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the USA**\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n**Rust \u0026amp; Chrome Garage Co.**\u003cbr\u003e\nBuilt for laughs, garages, and questionable marital decisions.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWe don’t have a warehouse full of shirts collecting dust and wondering where their lives went.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n**Your Rust \u0026amp; Chrome gear is made especially for you after you order it.** That means it may take us a little longer to get it headed your way—but we think good stuff is worth waiting for.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMaking things **on demand instead of by the truckload** helps us cut down on overproduction and waste.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSo thanks for supporting the way we do things around here:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n**Make what’s ordered. Waste less. Keep the good stuff coming.**\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nNow quit checking the mailbox every 20 minutes. We’re working on it.\u003cbr\u003e\n","brand":"Rust \u0026 Chrome Garage C0","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":54437334188342,"sku":"4782923_9527","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":54437334221110,"sku":"4782923_4016","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":54437334253878,"sku":"4782923_4017","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":54437334286646,"sku":"4782923_4018","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":54437334319414,"sku":"4782923_4019","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54437334352182,"sku":"4782923_4020","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":54437334384950,"sku":"4782923_5295","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":54437334417718,"sku":"4782923_5310","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":54437334450486,"sku":"4782923_12871","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Oxblood Black \/ S","offer_id":54437334483254,"sku":"4782923_9740","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Oxblood Black \/ M","offer_id":54437334516022,"sku":"4782923_9741","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Oxblood Black \/ L","offer_id":54437334548790,"sku":"4782923_9742","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Oxblood Black \/ XL","offer_id":54437334581558,"sku":"4782923_9743","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Oxblood Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54437334614326,"sku":"4782923_9744","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Oxblood Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":54437334647094,"sku":"4782923_9745","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Oxblood Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":54437334679862,"sku":"4782923_9746","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Emerald \/ XS","offer_id":54437334712630,"sku":"4782923_24337","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Emerald \/ S","offer_id":54437334745398,"sku":"4782923_24338","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Emerald \/ M","offer_id":54437334778166,"sku":"4782923_24339","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Emerald \/ L","offer_id":54437334810934,"sku":"4782923_24340","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Emerald \/ XL","offer_id":54437334843702,"sku":"4782923_24341","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Emerald \/ 2XL","offer_id":54437334876470,"sku":"4782923_24342","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Emerald \/ 3XL","offer_id":54437334909238,"sku":"4782923_24343","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XS","offer_id":54437334942006,"sku":"4782923_9571","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":54437334974774,"sku":"4782923_8509","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":54437335007542,"sku":"4782923_8510","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":54437335040310,"sku":"4782923_8511","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":54437335073078,"sku":"4782923_8512","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":54437335105846,"sku":"4782923_8513","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":54437335138614,"sku":"4782923_8514","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":54437335171382,"sku":"4782923_8515","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Autumn \/ S","offer_id":54437335204150,"sku":"4782923_10384","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Autumn \/ M","offer_id":54437335236918,"sku":"4782923_10385","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Autumn \/ L","offer_id":54437335269686,"sku":"4782923_10386","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Autumn \/ XL","offer_id":54437335302454,"sku":"4782923_10387","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Autumn \/ 2XL","offer_id":54437335335222,"sku":"4782923_10388","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0991\/3896\/1718\/files\/sku-garagehumor-001-printful_lifestyle.png?v=1787382408","url":"https:\/\/rustandchromegarageco.com\/products\/unisex-t-shirt-1","provider":"Rust \u0026 Chrome Garage Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}